I borrowed 'Kira' to wear on 11th November, In 1996

                          Part-I

The bustled school campus; all the teachers and students assembled at the football ground. Teachers’  orderly distributed work, appointing a leader in each group; energetic boys sent to forest for collecting wooden pole, bigger girls were entrusted in decoration aspect and along with 30 students I was sent to bring white sand (in our dialect we call ‘Sakkar’) which is used to mark a line on the ground to make distinctive line for athletic's sight. It is three hours walk-able road  to and fro. We were made sure by teacher to return back within three hours which was a limited time, otherwise no lunch would be provided us as punitive. Led by house captains students were put in respective work field.  

It was to celebrate 11^th November, in 1996. In Bhutanese calendar, this particular day is exclusively recognized and celebrated as “The Birth Anniversary of fourth Druk Gyelpo Jigme Singye Wangchuck. 

It was left only 24 hours the next day (11th November) to come. Everything seems lively and everyone was preparing for the next day. Whereas me, my head was crushing thinking about ‘kira’, nothing I could think apart from getting ‘kira’ (Bhutanese National dress worn by female) which I must wear on cultural show next evening. For this I was desperately in needed a new kira.  Even my younger sisters needed too. Our father went to Diafam, it is a small town adjacent to Assam, India, where our villagers usually go there for shopping. It is tedious journey of two days. If my father won’t arrive home on time I have to look for other solution to get kira. We were made compulsory that dancer should wear nice kira. I was assured that I had no nice kira at home. With those sorts of thoughts creeping in my mind i was still on the way where I was sent to.  

I was alarmed from my thought when house captain called my name to be loaded. He lifted the sack and loaded on my back.With heavily loaded i started tottering - way back to school. Again i went back to previous thought in continuation; this time i come up with an idea “borrowing kira from my relative whose very closer to me”. By the time I was nearer to school when I knew I was still in the queue walking tirelessly, sweating and was fully exhausted. I lowered down my load (a bag of sand) and reported to teacher. There was still time left for lunch. Sun was in full shown and I took a rest under Nim tree shade to get myself cool.  Lunch bell rung and everybody made a queue with empty steel plate firmly grasped and waiting their turn to come. I didn’t take lunch thought I was starving long before. My appetite was lost and the very growling stomach has been filled by worries and frustration. My best friend asked me glancing at my weak face if I was sick. It was a nice hearing from her inquiring about my health.

I sacrificed lunch and went to relative’s house for borrowing a kira. It was only 15 minutes walk from the hostel where I stayed.

I knocked the door humbly;

“May I come in?” (I spoke in fumble)

Mathang (In-law-sister) – “yes, come in”. (her voice seems reluctant, probably she knew it was me)

I saw she was washing cloths. “Let me wash mathang, you can take rest”. By seeing her grimaced face I got a clue it wasn't a good day for me to ask about kira. Whatever might be there was no other person whom I felt convenient to ask for. i had left no choice rather decided asking her once.

“mathang can I borrow any of your kira for cultural show, tomorrow, only for an hour? I pleaded.

She said “No”, I don’t have lots of kira that can be borrowed to you. One which I have has to wear myself tomorrow on 11^th November”. Her answered was too short “No”.   

I was 15 and was studying in class five that time. I was very young enough to reiterate and exhort her after hearing her futility reply. I simply said “it’s okay” mathang. In fact I was woeful and saddened. I asked myself, if own relatives render no help than who will aid pitifully?

Part-II

with great expectation and hoped i begged for kira has been turn down. My heart filled with sadness and disappointed. In sober mind i tottered like a alcoholic man. On my way back, before i could reach hostel the bell rung signaling that everyone should be assemble at the ground for March past rehearsal. Over the past half month we have been practicing march past for the 11^th November celebration. I had no idea how school in urban areas celebrate this day but whereas in rural schools as I witnessed at my primary school, teachers with their enthusiastic and loyalty they painstakingly make schedule beforehand to remark this day cheerful and successful one. On this day all the people over vicinity; staffs from different offices and even villagers takes a day off from their tedious and nonstop work to witness this day. It was sure the ground will be crowded the next day.

I directly rushed to the ground and attended the march past. Rehearsal went well. The next step was to go to dance club which was also rehearsal. I was in the state of mind that I do not want to go there. I sat down on the footstep in front of the hostel in hopeless. I saw my best friend walking towards me. She said “Aro” (friend) you are called by teacher for dance rehearsal”. Without a word I followed her. If i denied her I would have got punishment because it was me who was leading other dancers. I was put in three songs to be danced. Zest for moving my body has become vulnerable. I was feeling dizziness and faintness, it might be because i being in saddened or due to starving stomach. Somehow I managed to do my part well.

Now, school’s hectic work has been completed. Everything was made ready for tomorrow’s program. Every students were moving home.  

But my personal problem hasn’t solved yet. Where to get kira? Will my father arrive today evening? Constantly these two questions was being piercing my mind. All I could do was sitting and waiting for father and praying god to bring father back home safely in the evening.   

In the morning assembly, Headmaster had precisely announced that the hostelers who all are nearby school can go home and was asked to bring necessary things for tomorrow’s program.

Part-III

On that evening I went home with a great expectation that my father would have arrived home by now. It took 30 minutes to reach home. Normally the distance between my village and school takes almost one hour.

Seeing the door ajar, I believed both father and mother would be in the home. This very thought brought me alive from my current tension. Quietly I stepped in and slammed the door gently without my parent’s knowledge. When I got inside it was only mother, seated near the hearth, grooming firewood and readying to lit fire. She was just come home from daily field work. However, seeing my mother has alleviated my tension. She looked at me and we broke into smile. Before i could ask, mother said “father hasn’t come yet”.  I was nearly stunned hearing her assertive phrases because my mother did not know in what situation i was in. Nonetheless, I remained calm only to let my mother be calmed.     

I helped her preparing diner. Dinner was made ready but we waited father till 10pm to have dinner together. There was no sign for his arriving. After starving for so long we finally had dinner. We ate bokpi and chilli curry which is our everyday meals. Sometimes we take Thukpa (porridge). As I haven’t taken lunch I ate heavy dinner that night . My stomach was fully packed but I could still feel it’s emptier.    

Like always night, the remote and solitary village is overwhelmed by the darkness of the night. Night is the only few hours that the villagers gets free time to take rests from their daily manual and unfinished work, whether it’s raining or sunning day they work incessantly. This is the way of life that the villagers are dwelling in which is inexperienced or unseen by people who are dwelling in town. By this time every people must be taken rest to bed. My mother and younger siblings were already fallen asleep. I was kept awake not by noise pollution but the circumstances I mentioned earlier.           

It was half past 1Am and the new day begun for “11^th November”. Palpitation of my heart increases with the time passes closer. I stood nearby window, leaning my head at the window edge and looked out through it. The moon was in half shown that the moonlight was dimmer to see houses precisely or that could visualize night wanders in the darkness. Cold breeze was gently blowing and the sound of prayer flags could be heard which it beckons me of recitation “Badza Guru”. Instantly my heart arose cold and my eyes were moisturized with tears and it dripped over my cheeks.  I sobbed silently..

 

“Zamin” (daughter) my mother called. I knew she too wasn’t fallen into sleep.  

“Yes, Ama”

“Take nap, u haven't slept entire night, you will fall sick”.

"Its okay, Ama, I will stay till father comes"

“Your father might be on the way; walking through out the night”

“You are right Ama, he must be exhausted”

“Did you ask anybody?”

“What are you talking about, Ama?”

“About kira”,

“Who told you?”

“Your sister told me you need kira for the cultural show tomorrow evening. Why didn’t you tell me before? I would have asked from our neighbors”.

“Yes, I'm in needed. You have lots of work to do so I didn’t pressurize you”

“If you have asked to Mathang she would have given you her kira”.

“I did”

“Then what happened”

“She said ‘No’”

As soon as she heard the word 'no' she looks saddened and expressed her feelings ruefully.

“When she becomes mother of more children, when she becomes a grandparent of her own sons's and daughters's children, and when she will see her own children in difficult situation only than she will realize our today's suffering that we are going through. Your father’s parents died when he was young and I didn't get a chance to look after them. Today I wished their souls live in peace”.

When you are grown up, you will not be single; you will become wife of your husband and in-law-daughter of his parents. Give the same respect and feelings that you have for us. Your husband’s parents are your parents”. My mother said. 

How beautifully she spoke with meaningful sentences. She often used to tell us that not to differentiate between in-law-parents from own parents. I didn't know what makes her to says, especially this things again and again…Today I’ m grown up and realize her moral advised that why she has spoken invariably. Her words has got  that much potential even to let forgot my worries for awhile.  

Part-IV 

  
Cocks and hens made a chirping sound, letting the farmers’ wake up from a sound sleep. I was still awake and my mother didn’t get a chance to wake me up that morning. In other days usually she has to provoke me for waking up every morning. I used to be the last person to wake up late in the family.

It was around morning 3am when I finally heard a knock at the door. I had no patience to wait and see who it was; I suddenly got up, stumbled at the door and unlashed it. “‘Yes’ it was father”; his untidy shirt was still dripping wet, face moisture with perspiration and he looks feeble. I introspect how fast he would have walked that night without even taken a nap. My mother already waked up and was preparing some food for father. Seeing him tiresome I could not dare ask him whether he brought kira or not. My mind was still whirling of tension.

Outside it was still dark. I must reach school earlier before sun rises as I was assigned some responsibility for the program. I told my parents that it was time for me to move to school’. Until then my father utter words ‘wait for sisters in the school’. Hearing his words I comprehend that he has got something for me. For that something I was waiting for the whole night and dreaming of it.  

As I stepped into the school gate the school campus looked seemingly different; the liveliest campus and fragrance of happiest. And all of my friends seemed hyperactive of enthusiastic, made self looked beautiful and elegant. Smile could be sensed on everyone’s face. How happy they appeared.

Few minutes left for assemble for the ground. My sisters have not yet come. I was worried if they be late. I stood at the veranda waiting for them. This waiting offers me a breathtaking panorama of the campus. The football ground was beautifully decorated with buntings, flags and white marked lines. Thrilled in me could be felt giving me a solace for awhile. I got lost in imagination.  

“Ana..ana….we are here…..” they were gasping.

“Come in …..Hurry up, hurry up, we are getting late” 

“Today i m very…very…happy….” One of my sisters said

“You must be, for now shut up and get ready first”

She was overwhelmed with excitement and continued expressing her happiness “We got new cloths after couple of years back…this could be the happiest moment that I ever had felt before…” I could see happiness in her bulging eyes. It was happy to see them happy. I dressed them up, comb hair neatly and ushered them to go to the ground.

I made ready myself and rushed for the ground. Delirious of joy could feel in me on that day as I was in new school uniform. But still there was unsolved things left about ‘borrowing kira’. It was to wear on cultural show in the evening after the day program was over. On every 11^th November our school used to conducts cultural show to the people and staffs by which accumulate some money for the school fund.  

Now the day was about to beginning. The ground was circled by crowed audience. Staffs from other Department office were invited as a chief-guest for the program. The fourth King’s portrait is kept before us. Headmaster hoisted the National flag along with we sung the National Anthem in choir. After that welcome speech was given and we did march pass.   

The most entertainment part of the day's program was sport competition. My house captain has put my name for eight various games. i pleaded him to cut my name from high-jump and long-jump lists. During that time these two games were new to us and more over girls would feel shy to take part in. girls in remote is typical coz we used to argue with house captain for refusing to play games. Captain did not listen for my pleading; however, I had to participate in all eight games. Out of which i got 7 prices; first price was steel plate, second steel cup and third two pencils. I received 6 steel plates for first prize and one steel cup for third prize. Those prices are no worthless as it was a gift from me for my parents. I brought a grinned on my mother’s face that day. How thankful we feel ourselves to see our parents smile. In contrary, a wealthier people may seem such a steel place is worthless but whereas the peasants like us who inhabits in the remote place who are depriving from congenial city lives are hardly afford to buy even this cheaply things. Hoped I’m not offending anyone by confessing what is truth in life. If affluent person will touches the earthly life of peasants then only one could comprehend afflicts that farmers are bogged down with. 

One of my mother’s relative asked for a steel plate ( prize i got ). My mother calmly gave one plate to her with no reluctant or with no heart of saying ‘no’. When I was young I was good in games but now after stepping into adulthood it was totally opposite. I become idle and clumsy, especially athletic area. Despite the tension I had, I found the day was interesting. I now considered that day as a monument that I will cherish in the time when I feel desolate and dreary.

The ‘11^th November’ celebration ended with ‘TASHI LAKBAY’ song.

Now it was time for the evening program to start the cultural show. It was to start after having dinner. Within half an hour I must get ready for the welcome dance. Other participants were getting ready; my friends were looking awesome in new cloths but this time not in school uniform. They were in casual kira.   

For me I haven’t got kira and the time was moving very fast. If I wore school uniform it would have looked awkward. In saddened I retrieved of yesterday why mathang had not let me borrow her kira. I was certain that she knows how to loam kira and has a number of cloths. My elder brother came running and asked whether I got kira or not. ‘No’ was only i could utter apparently. I wasn’t in a state to talk more. He suggested me to borrow from mathang which I did yesterday and was being disappointed. He was shocked and furious because he knew that she had given her kira to another student, a friend of mine. I wasn’t against her refusal. I convinced him. My brother cried hearing my despaired feelings. I tried acting bold in front of him but could not hold my tears.

Part-V

My brother went back to his hostel. I stayed on the footstep, filled with sad and despair emotions. An acquainted friend who's from another village, came and seated on the left side to me where I was sitting. We never had a talk before though we were studying in the same school. However, we have exchanged a smile whenever our eyes get fixed to one another. She used to be a simple girl in the school.

This little known friend had finally pacified my two days endured worries about ‘kira’. She has two kiras which one gave to me. The kira was big enough, double the size of my height and body as it was her mother’s kira. I double folded the kira and wore. Fortunately I was thin that time and that’s why, in school, one of my teachers used to say ‘you don’t stand in the wind, otherwise, vigorous of the wind might blow you away”, he also nicknamed me as ‘Dry Fish”. Having those memories freshly in my memory I vividly can visualize my teacher’s amusing talks.

By the time, all the audience had taken seat. Audience had seated not in a chair or on a bench or on the carpet but on the earth surface as their mattress.  Teachers and participants were reported at the tent. I was going toward tent. I could see people hastily moving here and there, might be in search of what they need. At the time, I was a person with no worries anymore because I got what I have been desperately needed for.  I reached there exactly at right time when welcome dancers were called on stage to greet the audience through our welcome song. We did welcome dance and then other lists of programs followed one after another. 

For a moment, on that night, the remote school and the peasant audience had an eventful night. Shouting voice of enthusiasms, parents sobbed in children’s glory and screamed of innocent child could spill from the audience. Whoever presents there could feel the night filled with enjoyment and thrilling. In such occasion and during village festivals, the tranquil and ever solitary village seldom turns into animate.

Everything was over; the day’s activities and the night cultural show. ‘I returned back the kira to her with wholeheartedly thanking her’.

When everything was over the time was already around 11pm. All the people over there were moving home. I had to look for my mother since my father did not come for show. My mother took a little alcohol that night with her relatives having being met after many months. I pushed myself through the crowed, eyeing for mother. She was nowhere to be found. I dreaded as she was little drunk. I immediately thought of my relative ‘mathang’ if she would have taken her at her place. I forged toward her place. My anticipation proofed true. My mother was cautiously taken cared by her.

As soon as I saw her with my mother, a strange thought crept in my mind. “She did not land me her kira the previous day but the very night I saw her caring mother. That’s a great thing I knew about her. My negative thoughts and distrusts about her melted away having seen her current action. Every soul in this world is never born badly”. I thought.   

The particular day, 11^th November, 1996 has bidden adieu. Within these two days there were many things happened which rendered me a lesson like every day things happening to us.

The End